black & brown logo

until Alive 2 Life!

15th September 2012

 

Had a stressful day?  Don’t get mad get even

 

We've all been told to stay organized and motivated - this is great advice but what happens when that is easier said than done?  

 

We’ve all had days where nothing seems to go well or your perfectly laid out day is ruined by an out of the blue emergency you didn’t need to deal with.  

 

When you’ve had a day from hell it kills off the rest of your day, and sometimes the next day or even week.  Left unchecked several bad days from hell can not only make life suck but also damage your long term enthusiasm leaving you disillusioned or even worse burnt out.  How many long term goals have you given up on because life gets in the way? 

 

Ok so we don’t want to get to that stage, what do we do about it?  

So here is my big tip: Don’t Get Mad Get Even! 

 

This technique is specifically to be used at the end of a bad working day. Maybe your boss surprised you with an out of the blue request which made you work late to get it finished, or those back to back meetings meant you got nothing done today. 

 

Well its time to get even 

Ok I don’t mean get even with your boss or other source of stress. I mean get even with the situation. There is no point in getting pissed off with derailments as you’ll carry that negative emotion into your evening, into your sleep and even into the next day. Get even by enjoying what time you have left. The best way to do this is to get rid of the negative emotions that you maybe storing, recoup your losses and make the most out of what’s left of your day. 

Ok how do you do that? You’re annoyed, pissed off, frustrated or feeling defeated how do you recover? Well before you get even use the 

4R technique, Rant and Release, Recover, Reflect, Rebalance

1. Rant and Release

Find a trusted friend and have a rant. Just tell them all the things that you are pissed off with, what didn’t go well, who pissed you off, who you are mad at. 

Here are some sentences to finish. I’m upset with… I’m p***d off at, I’m f***ed of with so and so… 

Keep going until you have nothing left to rant about. The important thing to do is to rant with the intention of letting go of your negative emotions. Warn your friend that you are just ranting and that they shouldn’t try to deal with your problems, just listen.  You want to be able to express everything and let it out. If you have no-one to rant to, write it all down on a notepad or get in your car or apartment, turn up the music loud and rant out to air. 

2. RECOVER:  

Once you’ve let it all out. Close your eyes and spend at least 1 minute doing deep abdominal breathing. Just closing your eyes and breathing will help you to relax. Closing the eyes puts your brain in the alpha state; a state of relaxation. To help you recover further, while breathing, repeat to yourself (in quiet) I’m feeling calmer, better and more energized. 

In my courses I talk about subdermal thoughts, these are thoughts that influence your physiology. Don’t worry about them now but believe what you say. You are commanding the body to move into a state of relaxation and energy. 

3. REFLECT:  

This step is important in ensuring you don’t repeat the same mistakes of the day, if any. Look at what lessons you could have learned from the bad day, is there a funny side to the day? What can you learn from this, what could you have done differently. Usually this falls in the area of better planning, allowing for overruns and communication. 

4. REBALANCE:  

This is the getting even bit. It’s about addressing the balance. It’s your time now so do something you love, or something fun so your day is not marred by what went wrong. If you’ve had a long day you may not have that much time so you’ll have to make do with what you can do. 

  

QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU REBALANCE 

·          What am I committed to in my life? 

·          What could be a fun thing I can do which would make the day ok? 

·          How can I turn this situation around? 

·          What could I accomplish today that would make it worth it? 

·          What could make this a great day? 

Some suggestions for getting even. 

There are two main ways to rebalance the day, do something that is related to a goal you have or do something fun. They don’t have to take a long time.  Something that can be done in 30 minutes is good.  This can be a phone call, setting up a meeting or studying something of importance to you.  Small regular actions can make a big difference. 

 

Written by Daniel Browne - Motivational Speaker